What M&A has taught me about people: Reflections from 25 years of dealmaking – biases, surprises, and moments that made it all worthwhile

Deals don’t get done because the math works. They get done because people align. And sometimes, that’s the harder part.

Everyone wants to close the deal – just not the same way

One thing we see time and again is everyone around the table saying they want to close the deal. The buyer, the seller, the lawyers, the advisors. But what they don’t say out loud is that they also want recognition. To feel like they made the difference.

I remember one deal where the finish line was right in front of us. All major terms were agreed. But each advisor – legal, tax, financial – started pulling in different directions, trying to assert their importance. It turned into a tug of war. Everyone meant well, but egos got in the way.

Our job quickly shifted from advisor to mediator. We had to remind everyone that if the deal doesn’t close, nobody wins.

Lesson: You can’t close a deal unless everyone rows in the same direction.

Founders don’t just sign – they say goodbye

We once had a founder burst into tears in the boardroom, just moments before signing the Conditional Share Purchase Agreement (CSPA). Months of work had gone into the deal. Everything was ready. But as he stared at the papers, it hit him – he was letting go of something he’d built from nothing.

This wasn’t just a company. It was a lifetime of hustle, risk, belief. And now he was handing it over. He signed, eventually. But it reminded us that there’s no spreadsheet that can measure what a business means to its founder.

Lesson: Selling a company is rarely just a business decision. It’s deeply personal.

Trust means more than the highest offer

Not long ago, we helped a seller choose between several buyers. One offered the best price. Another offered a shared vision.

The seller picked the second one. Why? Because he believed that buyer would take care of the company’s people, protect its values, and build something lasting.

Lesson: At the end of the day, sellers don’t just want a good price. They want to feel good about who they’re handing the keys to.

People are the wild cards

You can plan for due diligence. You can model synergies. But people, with their fears, ambitions, and emotions, are the one thing you can’t control. We’ve seen deals derailed by pride, saved by empathy, and transformed by a single honest conversation.

Lesson: Behind every model and milestone, there’s a human story playing out.

One last thought

Over the years, we’ve closed a number of deals. The ones that stick with me aren’t the biggest or most complex. They’re the ones where we made a difference, where we helped someone move on, let go, or start something new.

At its core, M&A isn’t just about companies changing hands. It’s about people moving forward.

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Wiljadi Tan is Indonesia’s leading exit strategy expert, mastering divestment complexities and bridging owners with investors for successful M&A outcomes. His strategic expertise ensures legacy preservation through informed exits.